“The dedicated student of human nature will often look for valuable indicators of these most fascinating creatures, by surveying some of the peripheral aspects of their culture. From their literature, folklore, superstitions, and from the games they play or follow in their spare time. In observing two of these phenomena occurring in the later portion of the 10th month of their solar year (marked by the time of 1 complete orbit of their world, Earth, around their star, Sol), this scholar found a curious and, I believe important, link.
‘Baseball’ and ‘Halloween’ exhibit a previously unknown, or at the very least, under-explored relationship. The members of this Board will recall, from both my previous presentations on these two items, that they seem to stem from very different parts of the spectrum of Human Culture. That is, Baseball being a Game played by children and adults with a small, hide covered orb (or ‘ball’ thus the name), and Halloween, described as a pseudo-religious, fairy-tale inspired celebration of a ‘Ghosts, Goblins, and Gremlins – Shop at WalMart’ endeavor for children and low intelligent adults, primarily as an excuse to eat massive quantities of sugar and sharp metal-laden confections – candy.
After close observation and review of the activities of the latest (Game 6) of the seven games of the World Series held last night in the City of the Arch (which artifact has puzzled Tral historians for some time), I propose that the World Series (of Baseball) is in fact the ritual and celebration that leads up to the annual night of offspring sacrifice known as Halloween.
What is most disturbing, and what inspired the thesis I present here today, is that events of Game 6 actually support the existence of Gremlins (or Angels or Devils, depending upon which Movie or Theatrical Performance is referenced). See Damn Yankees, Angels in the Outfield, or Gremlins in the Bullpen, for reference.
What else could explain the baubles, bumbles, and ‘whacky antics’ of two groups of very talented and professional adult Baseball Players, to whom this Human Society has paid millions of dollars (in a very bad economy), to ‘turn the perfect double play’ ?
Gremlins exist, and while this is not the first time that they appeared in World Series Games (See the 1986 World Series), this 2011 World Series is without a doubt, the most extensive showing of the ‘little devils’.
Respectfully submitted for your consideration, I remain,
Honus W. Doubleday, Humanist Studies, University of Tralfamadore
Post Script: Be sure to watch tonight’s Game 7, and observe a possible answer to the true purpose of the building of the St. Louis Arch, which was completed 46 years ago, on October 28, 1965. Is it some sort of time capsule Trojan Horse, spewing out 100’s of Baseball Ghosts (the Dean Brothers or Satchel Paige), to play their part in this scariest of Human Endeavors. I will update this post with the chilling answers. “So it goes.”
Note on Game 7, 28 October 2011: Baseball is all about mathematics, except that outcomes can never be predicted with any degree of probability. That is why no shortcuts have ever been instituted. Prime example is the intentional walk. The rule say that all 4 pitches must be thrown, and outside the strike zone. It is more than just ‘going through the motions’. It acknowledges the utter unpredictability of the game.
Game 7 ended in a ‘going quietly’ performance by the Texas Rangers, who had their moment of victory pass in Game 6. Actually, there were several opportunities to end Game 6 that, somehow, against all odds, and mathematics, went to the Cards. So it goes, and such is Baseball.
Late last night, we were flipping through the TV channels and came upon “Field of Dreams”, and even though we tired and it was late, found ourselves compelled by the story and sounds and images to watch it to the end, again. It is yet one of the brilliant movies that capture the philosophy, love and fascination with the ‘American Sport’. So it goes.